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Send in the Comb
Set to the tune of "Send in the Clowns" by Stephen Sondheim

Doesn't it itch?
I see a pair.
Me here at last having found
Lice in my hair - 
     Send in the comb.

This is so strange.
I don't approve.
Even when sitting quite still,
I feel something move.
     I really need help.
     Please send in the comb.

Just when I'd stopped
scratching my head,
Thinking that all of the vermin around me were dead,
Sitting alone in my room, ran the comb through my hair;
     Stopped in dismay...
     Guess what was there?

Why do you scratch?
My fault I fear...
I think that you've got what I've got - 
Sorry my dear.
     I'll call NPA
     Please call NPA

Their number's right here......



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